Second Act Success Career Podcast: Career Change Advice, Job Search Strategies, and Personal Development Tips

Divorce Led Amanda Kate To A New Career In Kinesiology | #91

July 06, 2023 Shannon Russell, Amanda Kate Season 1 Episode 91
Divorce Led Amanda Kate To A New Career In Kinesiology | #91
Second Act Success Career Podcast: Career Change Advice, Job Search Strategies, and Personal Development Tips
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Second Act Success Career Podcast: Career Change Advice, Job Search Strategies, and Personal Development Tips
Divorce Led Amanda Kate To A New Career In Kinesiology | #91
Jul 06, 2023 Season 1 Episode 91
Shannon Russell, Amanda Kate

Send us a Text Message.

If you have been through divorce or any trauma in your life, than get cozy and get ready for some inspiration from Shannon's interview with Amanda Kate on Episode #91 of the Second Act Success Career Podcast. Amanda Kate went through a terrible divorce and came through on the other side learning a great deal about herself and humankind. She is the author of Divine. Messy. Human: A Spiritual Guide to Prioritizing Internal Truth over External Influence.

Amanda began  her career as a Communications Manager and then stayed home for many years to raise her children. After breaking free from her marriage, Amanda finished 6 years of college in 4 years as she found her life's purpose. She is now a Kinesiologist, Mentor, Archetypal Life Coach, Podcast Host, and Mother.  A recovering people-pleaser and self-flagellator, Amanda Kate walks the path straddling the divine and messy daily, and she shares her story and the advice she has learned in this episode of the Second Act Success Career Podcast.

SHOW NOTES
https://secondactsuccess.co/91

Connect with Amanda Kate:
Website - www.amandakate.com.au
Instagram - www.instagram.com/amanda__kate
Facebook - www.facebook.com/amandakatetransformation
LinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/amanda-kate
TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@divinelymessy
Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/54fAykxlFcUcPu0nOpnCFQ
Books - https://www.amandakate.com.au/my-book

--------


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All the latest - https://secondactsuccess.co/links
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REVIEW & SUBSCRIBE THE PODCAST!

Show Notes Transcript

Send us a Text Message.

If you have been through divorce or any trauma in your life, than get cozy and get ready for some inspiration from Shannon's interview with Amanda Kate on Episode #91 of the Second Act Success Career Podcast. Amanda Kate went through a terrible divorce and came through on the other side learning a great deal about herself and humankind. She is the author of Divine. Messy. Human: A Spiritual Guide to Prioritizing Internal Truth over External Influence.

Amanda began  her career as a Communications Manager and then stayed home for many years to raise her children. After breaking free from her marriage, Amanda finished 6 years of college in 4 years as she found her life's purpose. She is now a Kinesiologist, Mentor, Archetypal Life Coach, Podcast Host, and Mother.  A recovering people-pleaser and self-flagellator, Amanda Kate walks the path straddling the divine and messy daily, and she shares her story and the advice she has learned in this episode of the Second Act Success Career Podcast.

SHOW NOTES
https://secondactsuccess.co/91

Connect with Amanda Kate:
Website - www.amandakate.com.au
Instagram - www.instagram.com/amanda__kate
Facebook - www.facebook.com/amandakatetransformation
LinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/amanda-kate
TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@divinelymessy
Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/54fAykxlFcUcPu0nOpnCFQ
Books - https://www.amandakate.com.au/my-book

--------


Ready To Quit Your Job?
Ready to quit your job and start a business? Unboss yourself and take the QUIZ!
https://secondactsuccess.co/quiz

Get the FREE Career Change Planner to help you plan your next career move!
https://secondactsuccess.co/planner

Book a FREE Discovery Call with host/career coach Shannon Russell - https://www.calendly.com/second-act-success/coaching-strategy

LET’S CONNECT!
Instagram - https://instagram.com/secondactsuccess
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/secondactsuccess.co
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@secondactsuccess
All the latest - https://secondactsuccess.co/links
FREE Resources - https://secondactsuccess.co/resources


REVIEW & SUBSCRIBE THE PODCAST!

Second Act Success Career Podcast
Season 1 - ​​Divorce Led Amanda Kate To A New Career In Kinesiology
Episode - #91
Host: Shannon Russell
Guest: Amanda Kate
Transcription (*created by Descript and may not be perfectly accurate)


[00:00:00] Amanda: This second act is messy because we've looked at our first act and gone really? Is that all life Is I made some really big mistakes there.

And now what do I want for my second act? And we start asking some really big questions of ourself.



[00:00:48] Shannon: Welcome back my friend. I am career transition, coach Shannon Russell. If you have experienced divorce or any kind of trauma in your life, then I hope you will stick around [00:01:00] today for my interview with Amanda, Kate. Amanda was a communications manager until she decided to stay home and raise her children. 

During this time she faced a great deal of turmoil, trying to get divorced from her. Ex-husband. It wasn't until she found kinesiology that Amanda was able to get the strength and direction that she needed to take back the control of her life. Amanda. Kate is now a kinesiologist herself and she is the author of the book. Divine, messy human let's meet amanda kate so that you can hear her second act success story 



[00:01:38] Shannon: hello, Amanda, Kate, how are you?

[00:01:41] Amanda: I'm very good. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

[00:01:44] Shannon: Oh, I'm excited. I've been looking forward to this conversation. So let's start off with kind of where did your first act begin, I guess.

[00:01:52] Amanda: that first act, I guess is, is that childhood patterning and trauma. Trauma is anything that we internalize [00:02:00] as anything less than nourishing and nurturing for us. And most of us are born into families where we have lessons to learn. And because in my belief system, we come in from the, all that is we come in from God source.

Into these tiny little, you know, helpless bodies and we don't know that we are not all the people around us, and we have to learn that. So that process of individuation is us taking on. And making stories about what happens around us being raised very much in that white middle class Church of England space, guilt and shame were very well used to control behaviors and men have it, women have it. All genders, all races have this way that they are allowed to show themselves in the world and this way that they are not. And being overly, overly emotional was not something that was okay. So it was always your oversensitive.

You can't take [00:03:00] a joke. You need to thicker skin. And I would always think internally, but that really hurt me and upset But it's my fault because I'm taking it the wrong way. And so I really internalized this whole thing that everything was my fault.

[00:03:12] Shannon: Mm-hmm.

[00:03:13] Amanda: And also cause I hated that feeling.

I wanted to make sure that everybody was kept as happy as possible. I. So that I didn't get those outbursts of anger and that I would be loved, I thought that was kind of my way to be loved in the world. And so I became a massive people pleaser write through, , I did all the good things at school.

I got good grades. I went to university, I worked for my dad for a bit, and then I went traveling with my sister. Met a man, got married, two kids, beautiful home, and I ticked all the boxes. I did the life formula that we were supposed to live according to the formula we were presented with, 

so I ticked all of that and I ended up miserable. And I was in a marriage that was not nourishing and nurturing at all. Everything that [00:04:00] happened was my fault. You're overly sensitive. I'm sorry that you feel that way.

I'm sorry that you do this. I'm sorry that you do that. And constantly changing goalposts of what was good behavior, what was not. Acceptable in his eyes. So I was constantly having to change the game that I was playing in terms of trying to please this man that I was married to. And nothing I did worked, so I constantly felt like I was failing.

And I had this really strange paradox in my head, I'd be going, I'm a really good person, like. I love deeply and I've got all these beautiful qualities, and yet at the same time, I hated myself. I hated the way I felt around these people

[00:04:46] Shannon: Hmm.

[00:04:47] Amanda: to the extent that I would wanna smash mirrors when I saw myself.

Like it was a true hatred and

there was something in me still that had this, but you're a good person.

[00:04:58] Shannon: Mm-hmm.[00:05:00] 

[00:05:00] Amanda: But I hate myself, but you're a good person. And so it was this really massive internal fight 

and so I was this really strange mix of completely tightly controlled, suppressed, repressed anger and shame and embarrassment, and. But then I would also be able to be this beautiful, confident, sexy woman as well. But as soon as you know, we sort of closed the door on say a party or somewhere where I was able to let that out, that all disappeared and I became this insecure quivering mess.

[00:05:35] Shannon: Hmm.

[00:05:36] Amanda: I was so busy holding up the facade of what I thought our marriage should look to the outside world. That everybody was shocked when it came crumbling down 

[00:05:47] Shannon: Hmm. 

[00:05:47] Amanda: everybody, and I was seen as the catalyst. I was seen as the one with mental health issues. I was asked if I needed psychiatric help. You know, who leaves a rich successful man?

You must be crazy. [00:06:00] And so I lost a lot, a lot of people through that because people thought, That there was something mentally wrong with me. What I was doing, however, was following my heart and soul, which I'd been suppressing and ignoring for the past 36 years I think it was in the end, and through that journey, I was getting sick.

I had chronic fatigue. I was needing like three hour naps in the afternoon, and you can tell because I was in this hypervigilant state most of my life, of trying to watch what people wanted and needed, and

[00:06:29] Shannon: Walking on 

[00:06:29] Amanda: it just, Yeah, 

[00:06:31] Shannon: Being a mom of two kids, you are feeling this way and you're probably so worried about how that's coming off to them and how he's treating them. And I'm sure that just adds to that emotional turmoil that you're feeling.

[00:06:45] Amanda: Oh, it was, I would stand and take the bullets so that they wouldn't cop them, but of course then I was so tightly wound, I was micromanaging everything and trying to make sure that their behavior was acceptable enough 

and [00:07:00] towards the end, I really started going. Would I want either of my children to be living this life? Would I want my children to be experiencing this type of love? Do I want them to think it's okay to treat their partner the way their dad treats me or the way I treat him, Kim?

[00:07:21] Shannon: Mm-hmm.

[00:07:22] Amanda: all of the answers were no.

[00:07:24] Shannon: Mm.

[00:07:25] Amanda: I don't want them living this life. I don't want them in these kind of relationships. I want them to be loved and respected for who they are. 

[00:07:32] Shannon: No,

And it took you finding your confidence to finally say, I wanna be that person. That I knew I was all along, but that I was hiding and suppressing because of everyone else. So it finally came to that, that point.

[00:07:47] Amanda: I think even that came after a number of years of deep diving and therapies and kinesiology and somatic therapies and unpacking of trauma. I [00:08:00] couldn't find that confidence to start with because. I didn't even really know that it existed in me. 

So that realization that you mentioned Yes, it came, but it came much, much later.

[00:08:10] Shannon: So at this point, when you were going through this, you were a stay-at-home mom at that point, 

[00:08:14] Amanda: Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:08:15] Shannon: really were. Had a full-time job taking care of the kids. But you were, I can only imagine. You felt like you were under his thumb, so to speak, he was a breadwinner. You were raising the kids. So what was that, that catalyst to really have you say, okay, I'm done.

[00:08:33] Amanda: Well, it's interesting you say that. I didn't recognize it as financial control and abuse at the time because I just thought we were in partnership. But often he would go, you can't go and spend that on yourself because you're not actually owning any of the money here. What do you do all day? Seriously. I'm going, entertaining and educating your children and keeping us alive and feeding us all. And also I'd given up my career and every time I tried to start finding a new job or [00:09:00] get back into a career, it was always getting in the way of family. And he traveled quite a bit with his work. And so he couldn't have climbed that corporate ladder the way he did without my support.

So there was this restriction and there was this feeling that I couldn't spend his money and I couldn't do this, and I couldn't do that.

And , it was terrifying as I got towards the end because I'm going, I've been out of a job for 10 years now.

[00:09:28] Shannon: Mm-hmm.

[00:09:29] Amanda: And especially in communications, guess what happened in that 10, Social media, everything changed.

[00:09:34] Shannon: Right,

[00:09:35] Amanda: We'd gone from print media and the early-ish stages of the internet. We did have a web presence, but it was a very different kettle of fish to all of a sudden everything being done on social media. Now tell me that's not a complete and utter generation gap, and who's gonna employ a communications manager even when they've worked at one of these massive worldwide companies?

If they've had 10 years outta the game and the whole game's changed and yet [00:10:00] he would write all these letters, she is earning beneath her capacity because of this, this, and this. And I'm like, oh my God. And so the financial abuse and control continued well after, and it, it literally got to a point, I just had to go in and risk going to see a lawyer.

And going, look, I'm gonna have to just pay you when I can and how I can, because I have to get out of this. And they managed to get me, you know, a certain amount so I could get outta the house. 

So it was a lot to go through. And also I knew every step of the way that I was doing the right thing. I had to get out. My health was starting to suffer, and I knew it was gonna get worse and keep going downhill if I stayed.

Then having found kinesiology, I really threw myself into the study and to me that was the best thing that could have happened because that's how I started finding myself, unpacking those traumas and stresses within my body, finding greater senses of wellness, finding other practitioners or.[00:11:00] 

Books that I could delve into to get more information, to understand more about that human condition, what had created my internal condition that attracted that kind of a relationship, and therefore also why I couldn't find myself wiggling out of it for so long. And so unpacking all of that was just so eye-opening.

The end of the October, 2015, I was studying kinesiology, and in the January of 2016, I ended the marriage.

But in that time, I had already, I was also working with a psychologist. I was working with a naturopath. I was working with a chiropractor. I was working with a Chinese doctor, and they were all helping me get my physical body back into a place where I could function.

[00:11:48] Shannon: Hmm.

[00:11:50] Amanda: And as we were unpacking the trauma stories, I was really starting to look at, well, life can't surely be this hard.

I think that's the biggest thing when you [00:12:00] start down this spiritual kind of journey is there are less and less answers, but there are more and more questions and the more questions we can ask. The more deeply we go within ourselves, and the more we get to ask better questions and deeper questions, and yeah, we get some form of answer, but I think the answer is never a full stop. There's always a comma, or there's always a semicolon or something that then gives us a breath and a pause to then find the next question to ask.

[00:12:33] Shannon: I read that you finished six years of school in four years. How did you do that? How did you do that?

[00:12:39] Amanda: because I was obsessed. Well, I guess

[00:12:42] Shannon: You were 

loving what you were learning, it sounds like it was the ultimate therapy to get you from there to here.

[00:12:49] Amanda: Yeah. Oh, absolutely. And once I found it, I guess my desire just grew and grew cuz it was like opening a door to something I [00:13:00] had no clue existed. And yet on every level of my being, every class I went into, it felt like I was remembering stuff that I knew. From, I don't know, past life, whatever it is.

I felt like I was remembering and I just wanted to open up more of me that remembered. 

[00:13:18] Shannon: Hmm.

[00:13:20] Amanda: but not on that conscious level.

It was like this cellular recognition. And I just absorbed it all. 

You know, at that time I had my children nine nights a fortnight, and he had them five.

So all of a sudden I've got five nights where I'm having to learn to not be with my children because until I left I was a hundred percent with my children, a hundred percent. So when I've got five days and nights on my own, if I wasn't at school, I would throw myself into the study 

[00:13:54] Shannon: So for you to just distract yourself in your work, in your study probably was really great [00:14:00] therapy again, just to dive into it.

[00:14:03] Amanda: It was the best thing ever. it, it saved me and I think the beauty of it was as well, because when you are learning something like a somatic therapy such as kinesiology, When you are in class, you are having the technique performed on you and then you're performing it on somebody else or vice versa.

So I was also being balanced. As much as we were told to use goals and things that were directed towards our kinesiology study, I'm going, I'm gonna choose goals that help me move through what I'm moving through now, which is coming to terms with the abuse, understanding how I've allowed her in, bringing forgiveness in because I didn't, I don't wanna hate him and I don't hate him. Having that ability to be balanced and do all of that through that time, I ended up overlapping my advanced diploma with my diploma, which usually they. Don't allow. They finish one before you start another. But I spoke to [00:15:00] them and they're like, look, you're up to date with the work. It's you. And because I'd been so immersed in it, they were like, we know you can handle it, it's fine. I also did, I think I worked out, it ended up being like 26 weekends worth of school by the time I did all the advanced things that the college gave plus another modality And all this other stuff.

And that's a lot of time to spend in the 

[00:15:22] Shannon: were loving it. 







[00:15:53] Shannon: Amanda, tell us, what a kinesiologist does for listeners who are listening, and obviously they're intrigued by now. So [00:16:00] 

just tell me a little bit about what you do now that you practice it.

[00:16:03] Amanda: So kinesiology is looking at that eastern wisdom in western science. So we use a traditional Chinese medicine, um, you know, the meridians and the acupressure points, and we use the Charron system. So we're looking at the energetic systems of the body as well as the physicality of it, but we look at body systems, organs.

All of the bits of you, and the way I like to explain it, quantum physicists have proven the universe's 4% physical matter. So this physical meet suit that we're in is 4% of the picture. So what's the rest? And that's when we start to understand how deep and complex the human, field is. Because it's our emotional, energetic, spiritual, relational, hormonal, financial, all the different things, sexual, like all those bits that make totality of who we are. And then we've got that part of it where [00:17:00] people think that the subconscious is in the brain between our ears, but our subconscious and our unconscious is in every cell of every little electron of energy that make us up. It's in every bit of us. And memories, therefore can be stored in any of those parts. So as we start to understand metaphysics, which is beyond the physical, and we're seeing aches and pains, or we're seeing actual diseases manifesting in the body where they are manifesting starts to make a lot of sense. And then what we are doing is we are looking at, okay, what switches were flipped through those traumas you've experienced? When were they flipped? How were they flipped? And what do we need to do to change that vibrational that is held in your body? 

Because often physical manifestations that are coming through, whether it be in [00:18:00] disease or in, pain,

it's emotional stress and trauma that is creating that energy blockage. And what we wanna do is find out that root cause of it. So yes, inflammation in your body. I wanna know that you've got it, but I don't wanna give you an anti-inflammatory to get rid of the inflammation. I wanna know what's causing the inflammation. Why does your body feel like it needs to protect that part of you with 

[00:18:24] Shannon: Mm-hmm. 

[00:18:25] Amanda: inflammatory little parcel? Why is it putting bubble wrap around that? What is fragile in there that is being and protected? 

and

that's the bit that we wanna know. 

[00:18:38] Shannon: I can see how that just really helped you heal from your first act. And now you probably really felt like this is your purpose for your second act, and now you wanna go out and, others about this. So talk to me about that stage of becoming a life coach and really going out and trying to help people.

Heal their traumas. 

[00:18:59] Amanda: I [00:19:00] used to laugh with my kinesiologist about it because when I first went into their office, I still remember saying to them, I need to fix myself enough to save my marriage because I'm broken.

Now that kind of tells you the mental state that I was in, and that was beginning of 2015. When I look back now at that woman, I see that she was one, never broken, cuz we are never broken.

[00:19:22] Shannon: Mm-hmm. Nope. 

[00:19:24] Amanda: But I look at the life I am living now knowing that I have consciously created it. From where I was and it is poles apart. And I often use the, I mentioned to you before we started, you know, I've just finished walking my dog at the beach.

I'm still covered in sand from throwing the ball. You know, but, a few years ago, If the weather wasn't perfect,

I wouldn't have walked to the beach. Now I walk in all weathers. And every single one of those days I was like, oh my God, compare this to like yesterday and, and or the day before. Like, this is [00:20:00] insane.

But I was still in wonder and awe and that magic, and I still anywhere else. That little change in behavior. From where I was before where I wouldn't walk the beach unless it was this perfect thing because the weather's rubbish and boom, I'd make all these excuses and it'd be all this negative story around it.

Oh, you can't walk the beach when it's like that cuz it's just not pleasant. I. But now I'm seeing the magic and the beauty and the wonder in it. Even when some days I am trudging up the beach. It is hard work. But even in those moments, there's still nowhere where I'd rather 

be. I've , been able to find this. Level of inner peace that I can anchor into even when everything's tumultuous around me. And this is where when people come to me and they say, I just wanna be happy.

You know, tell me what happiness means to you. Because if you are happy all the time, you actually do need medication because you're manic. And, and if [00:21:00] people are happy all the time, you don't trust 

them. 

There's something not right 

there. 

[00:21:04] Shannon: true. It's so true. Like what are you 

[00:21:08] Amanda: Yeah. And everybody thinks that happiness is the thing that we wanna aim for, but realness is what we wanna aim for, which means we are gonna go through tough stuff. Life is gonna throw us curve balls. Life is gonna be hard at times. And if we allow ourself to feel these emotions, if we know that it is temporary, whatever we are feeling, whether it be amazing or not so amazing.

If we understand the temporary of it, we can, just have a more,

easier path.

[00:21:43] Shannon: Hmm. 

[00:21:44] Amanda: That whole platitude of this too shall pass. It will, when I think about the depths of grief I've been to, again, I'm not still there. 

[00:21:53] Shannon: Nope. 

[00:21:54] Amanda: A and the happiest moment of my life, again, I'm not still there. It's passed.[00:22:00] We need to experience the full range of human emotion, the light, the dark, the good, the bad, the really damn painful And the most beautiful. And a lot of those aren't so far apart from each other as we like to 

believe 

[00:22:15] Shannon: Hmm. 

[00:22:16] Amanda: there is pain in the beauty because we know it's 

temporary. 

[00:22:20] Shannon: Mm-hmm. 

[00:22:21] Amanda: And there's also beauty in the pain because we know we're being ripped open because we're loving so much or because we're caring so deeply.

And so as we can start to really understand and and feel into all of that, our life gets richer. Happier, yes. Kind of in a weird way, but for me, it gets richer. It gets more texture, it gets more color and more depth, and I enjoy my life 

more. 

[00:22:48] Shannon: Hmm. 

[00:22:48] Amanda: more content. I am more peaceful, even when the shit is hitting the fan and things aren't feeling 

[00:22:55] Shannon: Because you're present. Right? You're present with yourself. 

[00:22:58] Amanda: yeah. 

And I'm [00:23:00] not denying those parts of myself that are more messy, that are less pretty. I still get cranky because people haven't done enough around the house or whatever the hell it is. I decide to be cranky about that day. Of course I do cause I'm human and that's the reason I called my book.

Divine, Messy Human. We are messy. Life is messy. And the more we can accept the messiness, the more full and real and rich and wonderful our humanity is. But above all of that, we are divine creatures. And the more we can tap into that divinity whilst accepting the messiness, the more we can enjoy that human experience for all that it is When we're denying our divinity or not able to connect to it or not tapped And we're rolling in the mess and we're only seeing the darkness of the mess, then we're having a really tough human experience,

and I know which way I wanna be experiencing [00:24:00] it. 

[00:24:00] Shannon: And I love that you named your book that, it's a reminder, we have to remind ourselves that it's okay to be messy, that things aren't perfect. And a lot of my listeners are going through the messy, they're trying to transition from their first act to their second act, figuring out whether it's starting a business, changing careers, getting divorced, whatever it is.

And it is messy and it really. It's, even when it's perfect, it's gonna continue to be

messy 

cuz it's twists and turns and ups and 

downs. How has the book been for you? you know, The fact that you're able to share your words and share it with others and I'm sure the reception has been amazing. 

[00:24:38] Amanda: Look, it has been, and it continues to surprise me. I think that book had been swimming around in my head for so long that when we found that container, it literally, I had the whole manuscript outta me in five weeks, and it was 120 days from typing the first words to holding my book ready for my launch.

It was crazy fast. And also[00:25:00] I needed to get to a point in my healing where I had truly forgiven the people who. Had harmed me

And there's not a lot of my story in the book because it is about showing people what's possible. It is about talking about some of the things that we experience as humans

that are the messy parts. That if we learn to befriend them, they sit more easily within us.

So we have less conflict and we become more coherent electrical beings. Which means that we are more harmonic in life and we're able to navigate better. And I think you're right. You know those, this second act is messy because we've looked at our first act and gone really? Is that all life Is I made some really big mistakes there.

And now what do I want for my second act? And we start asking some really big questions of ourself. And, this is where I talk with clients about having internal scaffolding and external scaffolding. The internal scaffolding are all of [00:26:00] those inner tools that we use, whether it be emotional processing meditation, journaling, whatever.

It's the external scaffolding for me are incredible coaches, healers, kinesiologists, support networks

that you can. Gain wisdom from and share wisdom with, and that is different to the external influence I talk about in the book where we are submitting to other people's ideas of what we should be 

doing and denying our internal truth because our internal truth knows what we should be doing.

The second you ask yourself, I know myself, I knew I needed to leave my marriage at some point. What I was trying to do, because I thought it would be less painful for everyone if I could just get through till the kids graduated high school, but again, that story, and I would've been dead by then.

I don't mean to be rude and dramatic, but I would've been because I was getting so sick that I just wouldn't have made it that long. I had to get out sooner. But the second I asked [00:27:00] myself that question, realistically I should have packed my bags and 

left. Because it would've saved us all. A lot of toxicity, a lot of heartache, and a lot of pain. And also, that wasn't my life path to walk.

But when we ask ourselves those big questions, oh, is this job really right for me? That question does not come in if you are in your incredible job, 

Just doesn't.

The question comes up because you are going, I think life could be better. I think my job could be a better, I think my relationship could be better.



[00:27:31] Shannon: Mm-hmm. 

[00:27:32] Amanda: That's why you are asking the question. But what we do is we often tell ourself that we don't know the answer to that and we'll go out and we'll survey monkey everyone else. And I think part of what we're doing in that is we are going, by the way I'm asking you this question is my boss and ask, cause I know they are.

But what I'd really like you to do, if you could write the. Letter for me to resign for my job and find me another job so that I'm not out of work at all. If you could do that for me, that'd be great. That's what we're looking 

[00:27:59] Shannon: Amanda. [00:28:00] Yes. 

[00:28:00] Amanda: no one does that 

[00:28:01] Shannon: No, you're right. And this is like speaking to me so much because you want, you're asking yourself this question, but you're not answering it. 

You're 

just 

[00:28:11] Amanda: because you don't have the 

courage to, 

cause we're not 

taught to trust that. 

[00:28:15] Shannon: We are not, that's why there's such a small percentage of us that make that change and make that leap.

And I feel like that is my mission. And clearly it's yours too, of just empowering others to say it is okay to pivot and change and you don't have to wait till the kids go to school. You are living your life and you can be a mom. A partner, whatever it is, but no one's gonna be happy unless you're happy.

I also love that you were talking about ticking all the boxes, and that's something that I say all the time, but you know what? I left a dream career. It was not toxic.

I loved it, but I had two little ones and I needed to be present. I didn't want to be traveling around the world. And for me, I said, okay, you know what? Congratulations, Shannon. You did it. I checked the box. Now what's my next adventure? Whereas [00:29:00] I think a lot of people would stick with it. For me, I think I knew I was at the end of it, I was proud of myself. I wanted a new challenge and that was my chance to pivot. And it was messy and it was hard, but I just encouraged people to think that way. To leave a toxic marriage like you, or to make that change, to make yourself fuller and happier in this one 

life that we have. 

[00:29:24] Amanda: Yeah, and I love what you say there. You know, you had this amazing job and you are going, you were able to be proud of 

that. Now some people get themselves stuck into the golden handcuffs and some, I mean, I don't really like that term, but they get stuck into the fear and scarcity of, I've made it here. If I leave this, there may be nothing else.

Because our brain wants to go into binary of right, wrong, yes, no, this, that, it can't see that there are, and I always say, you know, there's not just black and white. There are all the different shades of gray and there's the whole Pantone color chart as well. [00:30:00] And they're just the colors we can see, like there is a whole range of color that we can't even see.

So when you start thinking like that, our limited mind

only knows what it knows. And so our mind is only limited by our known. World, the universe is unlimited.

And so also once we get into that, we can start going, okay, so I want this or better,

[00:30:29] Shannon: Right. 

[00:30:31] Amanda: When we can start doing that, we start to dissolve some of those edges around that limitation that we're putting on ourself and we start being able to go, okay, well I know it's unlimited, so whatever's meant for me Bring it in. 

[00:30:44] Shannon: Being, kinesiologist and a life coach, if someone is feeling like they're in this turmoil and in this. Area of transition that leaning on someone, that external support can help get you to 

that next level. 

[00:30:57] Amanda: Always, I would not be where I am today. I [00:31:00] had a session with my mentor last night, this year I said to her, we're doing a session a month to keep me on track to. If I then want on top of that more support, of course I'm gonna go to other 

people. I see my acupuncturist at the moment. And I'm also working with a hypnotherapist on and off and so we need those external scaffolding. And I tell you now, if you go to work with a coach or a healer or anybody, Talk to them first. We spend more time working out what kind of car we're gonna buy than who's gonna deal with our mental and emotional health or our spiritual health.

People playing around in our trauma and our subconscious. And we don't talk to them about it first. Have a meeting, talk to them. If they won't talk to you, don't go with them. And you know what? And if they are not, Working with other healers and coaches to keep themselves growing and evolving and changing and overcoming their own stories and patterns and behaviors.

And I think that is valuable. 

[00:31:55] Shannon: I'm a coach, a career coach, and I have a business coach, and I love hearing her [00:32:00] stories of her business coach or her life coach. It really just, I. Shows you that we all have that support and you just want everyone to be able to have that. 

So last question, Amanda. if there are listeners Who are listening and they're thinking about launching into a second act, Getting divorced, moving from one thing to the next.

What are your words of wisdom? 

[00:32:20] Amanda: Trust your instincts. Trust your intuition. intuition is there to guide you closer and closer and closer to your life purpose, so slowing down and turning down the noise on the outside world. Whether it be friends, family, internet, social media, whatever it is, turn down the noise and go within.

Take a walk in Nature journal, whatever it is that you feel comfortable doing, even when you're gardening or I used to do it washing the dishes cuz it's such one of those repetitive tasks that I could go into that meditative space and sort of process stuff while I [00:33:00] was doing it. 

I had somebody who does it while they're vacuuming.

[00:33:03] Shannon: Yes. 

[00:33:03] Amanda: You don't really need to think much about it. So they would then process stuff then. So just get into that space, whatever it is for you and process what you need to do.

You can do it in those moments 

of daydreaming. In a really mundane task and tap into it and ask it questions become like that three year old. What do you think of this? How do you think this could work out? What, why, but why, but why, but why? I love mo, but why 

child? and forgetting the how. It's not up to us. How? Cause again, we're working within limitation, our limited mindset. worry about the how. What do I want? Why do I want it? How do I wanna feel at the end is one of the how questions that I do love, because how am I gonna feel when all of this, whatever 

it is, Comes to fruition and tapping into those feelings and starting to go, okay, what could be possible if I made [00:34:00] this choice?

What could be possible if I didn't make this choice? And just the more questions you ask, the better you'll get at asking yourself questions. Trusting yourself and acting on it, cuz nothing happens if we don't act. 

[00:34:14] Shannon: Just find those moments to turn inward. I love that. Amanda Kate, this has been so wonderful and Divine Messy Human is a wonderful title for a book.

I hope everyone goes and checks it out. And thank you so much for joining me today. This has been such 

a great conversation. 

[00:34:30] Amanda: Oh, thank you so much, Shannon. Honestly, I love your work. Thank you for putting it all out into the world. And yeah, keep shining your 

light 

cause we need 

you, 

[00:34:37] Shannon: Thank you

[00:35:00]