Meet The Personal Trainer Who Pivoted To Teach Self Love with Jane Kilian | Ep #49

Jane Kilian lives in South Africa and has been a personal trainer for over 14 years. Jane began to notice that her clients at the gym were extremely hard on themselves. She had always fostered self-love and affirmations during workouts, but she knew she had to do more. It was then that she built her business Unselfishly Me to help women love themselves from the inside, so that they could love themselves on the outside. Now as a self love coach, Jane works with clients, teaches yoga, hosts retreats, hosts the Unselfishly Me Podcast, and spreads self love any way she can. On the podcast, Jane and Shannon discuss her journey of loving herself first, and then opening a business that teaches the importance of not only physical health, but emotional, mental, and spiritual health as well. Listen to Jane Kilian’s story on the Second Act Success Podcast Episode #49.

SHOW NOTES FOR THIS EPISODE:

https://secondactsuccess.co/49

CONNECT with Jane Kilian:

Website – https://unselfishlyme.com/

Podcast – https://unselfishlyme.com/podcast

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/unselfishlyme/

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/UnselfishlyMe

Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZEUMor35nBHWgrVomBT4Sw

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Second Act Success Podcast
Season 1 - ​​Personal Trainer to Self Love Guru with Jane Kilian | Ep #49
Guest: Jane Kilian
Host: Shannon Russell
Transcription (*created by Descript and may not be perfectly accurate)

[00:00:00] Jennie O'Connor: Hello, second act success listeners, Jennie here From Multi-Passionate Like a Boss, the podcast where I help squirrel brained entrepreneurs and aspiring entrepreneurs kick overwhelmed to the curb and make the impact they're meant to make. If you're looking for somewhere to start, I recommend episode 53, the Thriving Multi-Passionate Timeline where I talk about how to take yourself from overwhelmed to financially free and give you the action steps you need no matter where you are in your.

Now it's time for the second Act Success podcast, and here is your host Shannon Russell. 



[00:00:32] Shannon Russell: I'm excited to announce that the next session of the Second Act Accelerator Course will be launching in January. Learn more at secondactsuccess.co/course. This program is for professionals ready to pivot to a new career. Within just six weeks, you will have a roadmap to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. You will have access to weekly group coaching, live workshops, expert guests, and one-on-one coaching with me.[00:01:00] Learn more about the second Act accelerator and sign up at secondactsuccess.co/course.

Are you at a crossroads in your career? Ready for a change, but you're not sure how to get there. Don't worry. We are about to produce your best life together. Welcome to the Second Act Success Podcast. I am your host. Shannon Russell. I am a former Television Producer turned boy mom. I left my dream job to find family balance and in doing so, I produced my dream life. Now I am a Business Owner, Podcaster, and Career Coach. My mission is to help other women, like you, find what they are truly meant to be doing. If you are ready to start over in your career or pivot to a new purpose, then get ready to be inspired by stories of women who have done just that. We will share advice and actionable tips to motivate you as you move along on your path. It is time to shine. So let's start producing your balanced life of abundance today.[00:02:00] This is Second Act Success. 





[00:02:06] Shannon Russell: Today we are chatting with personal trainer Turn Self-Love Guru Jane Killian from Unselfishly Me. Jane lives in South Africa with her family and has a flourishing business, all about self-love and self-care. She shares her journey of finding her own self-love and opening a business and podcast to spread the importance of not only physical health, but emotional, mental, and spiritual health as well. I'm so excited to introduce you to my. Jane Killian. Jane, welcome to second Act.

[00:02:39] Jane Kilian: Oh, thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited to see you again.

[00:02:43] Shannon Russell: I know I was just a guest on Jane podcast, which was so lovely. So I'm so excited to have you here. Let's talk about your journey now. Where did your kind of career aspiration start? What did you think you wanted to be when you grew up?

[00:02:57] Jane Kilian: I've always been very sporty. I was like, I'm either [00:03:00] gonna do marine biology cause I wanna be a dolphin trainer. I either wanna do physiotherapy or law. How random, like completely random.

I couldn't choose what to do. Um, and then we actually heard from a family friend of ours, oh, there's this thing called sports science. So why don't you go, he's a lecturer there. Why don't you go and have a look? So I went there and I wasn't really interested, but I was like, okay, cool. Sport looks quite fun. Can't make my mind up. This is probably the easiest thing to do. He had me at, you can be a sports conditioning coach and travel, and I was like, Ooh, rugby, maybe I'll, maybe I'll go and be like on a rugby team or something. Interesting. So that was my thing, like, oh, I can travel. Maybe that's what I wanna do. So I studied that and I really enjoyed it. I loved it, but. When it came TOMA Honors, you could either go into Biokinetics, which is two years, or you could do one year honors, which was exercise science. And I weighed up my options and I was like, you know what? I don't think I wanna be like in a lab doing like rehab on people. Like it's just not me. Maybe I'll do [00:04:00] something else. But I thought, you know, I could do anything. Like, I've got the honors, I'll see what, what happens. So I did that knowing that I wanted to go overseas. We all do like a gap year and go to the UK. It's like usually two years. I managed, one year I went, ended up in Edinburgh, in Scotland. Loved it. So

[00:04:16] Shannon Russell: I love it. That's one of my most favorite European countries.

[00:04:19] Jane Kilian: yeah. It's my favorite, favorite place. I've got so many friends. And I just love the energy there. And so I went there for a year. I worked in a gym and I came back and then I didn't know what I wanted to do. I started au pairing and while I was au pairing, I decided to do my teaching diploma. So I did a PCG, which is a post-graduate certificate in education. I've never used it, but I've got it. I can go and get a job now in another country if I want, or even here, if I wanted to be a teacher, I could apply tomorrow. So there's always a good fall. And then from that I went into personal training. So I actually started personal training people. Um, I trained them at home and then I went into a gym and I worked at a Virgin Active, [00:05:00] worked there for five years and. I loved it. I mostly focused on women and then from there, we moved into a house that had granny flat, like outside cottages, and I changed one into a woman only studio. So I've been working from home now, gosh, for like 10 years, And then a few years ago, uh, created a self-love brand, I've always been in wellness, but now it's kind of shifted from physical wellness more into like mental wellness and self love. So I started Unselfishly Me in 20. 18 And yeah, it was such a, a shift for me. I was still personal training, but I realized that I was always talking to them, telling them to look at themselves currently in the mirror, say, really can't things to yourself, even if you don't believe it. Just say that you feel like you're looking in the mirror and you can see a difference and you're losing weight. Start kind of convincing yourselves because then you will start actually losing weight. It's like a byproduct, but that's, I only learned the psychology of that when I started Unselfishly Me and how powerful your mind [00:06:00] is. But I was just saying these things cuz that's what I was doing for myself when I put on weight in the UK. I dunno if, you know, we call it the Heathrow injection. So

[00:06:08] Shannon Russell: No

[00:06:09] Jane Kilian: it's almost a joke that as you fly in, as soon as you get to Heathrow, it's like this automatic injection that you put on like what, 10 kgs, or, I dunno what it is in 20 pounds or, or whatever it is. I know that you guys call it the freshman 15, I think.

[00:06:23] Shannon Russell: Yep. Yep. In college. Yep.

[00:06:25] Jane Kilian: Yeah, so I put on weight and then I, I realized when I came back that it wasn't coming off and I was doing it for the wrong reasons. Came back here and the same guys and rugby guys that I was friends with before they were interested in me were not interested in me anymore. And it was, cuz I obviously looked different cause I put on some weight, had my little Heathrow injection, and then I was trying to lose weight for. I was trying to lose it to look better for them. And then something clicked within me and I was like, I'm doing it for the wrong reasons. I need to do this for me. And as soon as I did it for myself and I started speaking to myself more kindly, it just started coming off. So that's when [00:07:00] I think back then I realized like, this is really powerful how we speak to ourselves. So I started telling my clients the same thing. Over the years, I, I realized that I was more like a self-love trainer than a personal trainer. Like I love training them and helping them, but it was more. The glow up on the inside than the outside. That made me the most excited when I saw them. So it was kind of like a natural progression that my brand switched 

Covid made me pivot a lot. We have another brand and a company that we do with a headsets called Sicker Sunrise. And you dance around or you do yoga, like it's all wireless headphones. It's incredible. But we didn't work for 11 months because we had such high restrictions here in South Africa that we couldn't gather more than 20 people so I thought this is the one time in my life when I'm not gonna have that as another I've been resisting being a yoga teacher or doing the training for years. Like it keeps popping up and I was like, mm, no, I don't think I wanna use that. I'm not super into yoga. I didn't have like a consistent [00:08:00] practice. I wasn't personal training in person anyway, so I thought this is like five months. I can really like throw myself into it. And I want to do beginner yoga. I don't want to teach intermediate classes in advanced. I want to focus on beginner because that is my strength. I teach people how to squat and how to lunge and that's what I've done for 14 years. So it'll just come naturally, um, for me. And this is my second act, is I really believe that my second act is moving from personal training into the self-love space, which I have been doing now since 2018.

Now it's the beginner yoga that I just feel in my heart is going to be my biggest thing. So I do have like an online challenge, like a beginner yoga challenge, so anyone in the world can do it and it's self-paced and everything's recorded, and you do that. Once you've gone through that, then you go to your, your version of an intermediate, course and workshop. I think that the yoga, even though I was so like resistant to it, [00:09:00] I think that that is actually going to be my second act now moving forward, like I, as you can tell, I've had lots of second acts,

[00:09:08] Shannon: hey, it's Shannon. If you are enjoying this podcast, then you will love my weekly newsletter. It's full of career advice, productivity tips, and of course inspiring stories of women who have launched a new career that they. Just go to second act success.co to sign up. Plus you'll get the My Success Vision Board to help you with your 2023 planning as well. Now it's back to the episode.

[00:09:33] Shannon Russell: Okay. I love that you have so many second acts and more to come I'm sure. But isn't that what it's all about, right? Like trying all of the things you have a lot of interests and a lot of talents. So why not dive in and see what you gravitate towards the most? 

[00:09:47] Jane Kilian: I think that for me, I really think that my second, second act, , is the beginner yoga and the self-love. I kind of enmesh them together. So while we doing the yoga classes, I [00:10:00] bring in the self-loves, like I'm saying all the things. It's really been a very interesting journey. It's taken quite a while to come to this place. I think you always second guess yourself when you move from one thing into another and you kind of mourn the person you were. If that makes sense. Or the job that you had. I mean, you understand more than anyone, but I think I've realized that the other day I was like, I kind of almost lost my identity because I'm like GI Jane, like that's who I am. Everyone knows me as that. That is like who I was for so many years. But I think it like adds on to who you are and like I will always be GI Jane and when the movie came out, everyone called me that my license plate on my car is that my business name is that. Everything's GI Jane. It doesn't mean that I'm not GI Jane, it just means that I'm not doing personal training. So I think that we need to realize that as well.

[00:10:49] Shannon Russell: Oh yeah, cuz you can always go back to that. That was such a part of your foundation in your career and it really, like you were saying, you can make it all encompassing. You were teaching women how to [00:11:00] feel better about themselves physically. And now you're just morphing into how to feel good about yourself mentally, emotionally, and then you're adding the yoga on as well, which is physical. So it's kind of all still there. Let's break it down and talk about the GI Jane of it all. As a personal trainer, what made you stand out from other trainers? Was it the fact that you brought in a little bit of extra motivation to these women and that you focused on.

[00:11:29] Jane Kilian: Cool. Such a good question. Okay, so I'm quite sassy, but I'm also very friendly. So walking around the gym I would greet all the members, my biggest superpower, I was talking about this on a Facebook group, is my authenticity. So exactly who I am online on Instagram, Instagram stories. I'm exactly the same in real life, like it is exactly who I am. I don't put anything on. I'm just very real and very comfortable within myself. I know who I am and I portray that after other people. So I think especially with the gym. When I was working in a public gym, people [00:12:00] could see that and they'd always made time for people, even if they stopped and said hello to me. Even if I was training someone, I wouldn't take up too much of their time, but I'd always say, good morning and have like a 32nd chat just to kind of like. Make people feel like seen. I think that's the big thing. Make people feel seen. Like the little widowers that were coming to the gym. There was one, he was super cute. He was a jeweler and he actually, I still have it. He gave me a little heart, a little like crushed little diamonds heart. It was so cute. I made friends with everyone. I think that was, the thing as well. And. Maybe also the, the exercises I do were never like super hectic where people were literally crying. It was very manageable, A lot of body weight things. So when you were in the gym seeing that, it wasn't very intimidating. I think A, I'm not very intimidating. And then B, what I was doing with people was not very intimidating, yet they were still getting the results. 

[00:12:49] Shannon Russell: And I think that women like me would see that and be like, I wanna work out with her. I want her to help me because I don't feel intimidated by her. I used to go to a trainer who was a [00:13:00] guy and for some reason he was great, but I felt intimidated kind of by it, where I much rather. Work out with you and be like, okay, we're friends. We're working out and you're helping me feel better. So I think there's that comfort level I would assume, in working with you. And then you went into open the studio that's attached to your home. Right. And that was just for women only.

[00:13:23] Jane Kilian: Yeah, cause I thought there were so many women that don't wanna actually go to the gym. There's so many women that actually just wanna be around other women and they don't wanna dress up. There's so many girls that put makeup on cause they feel like they have to cuz they're going to a public gym. So it made sense for them to come and train there. I was really worried cause I had to push to try and get the people and social media 10 years ago, it wasn't what it is now, so it, I had to like literally walk up and down my roads and putting flyers in people's postbox. So yeah, I was very worried, but it just grew and grew. 

And 

[00:13:56] Shannon Russell: And so that business was GI Jane, was that the name of your Yeah. Okay. [00:14:00] Very cool. I also saw on your website that you thought about moving more into the self-love world because a lot of the women that you trained couldn't love themselves. I can you talk more to.

[00:14:13] Jane Kilian: Yeah. So the actual reason why I started Unselfishly Me. I'd been going to yoga and I'd been doing like a lot of workshops and the one workshop we did was on the solar plex of chakra. I didn't know anything about chakras. I was learning as I went, and it's all about your self worth and your self-confidence, and it's like the center of your being, like your center of your power. I just learned about that and learned about Marissa Pier and IMF and the whole movement. And I was watching a friend of mine's Instagram stories and her birthday was in a month's time and she was talking on and on about how she needs to lose 10 kgs and three weeks before her birthday, and I just wrote back, you need to love yourself more, and she wrote back and said, I can't. And I was like, oh. I was like, wow, okay. Didn't expect that. So I [00:15:00] messaged her and I was like, you know what? I've got something I want to talk to you about. Let me send you some stuff and just try it for the next few days. So I started sending her mantra and, and motivational videos and she was like, okay, I'll try. So she tried for a few days, started feeling a lot better, but that was something in my head I was like, if. If she is feeling like this, imagine how many other women are feeling like this, and if she can feel better after a few days of me sending stuff, imagine if I create a course. So that's what I did. , overachiever, uh, in one month I created a whole eight week e-course. I didn't try and be the guru myself. I took from the gurus out there. So there'll be videos from Oprah, there'll be videos from Brene Brown, like bringing all those people. You can't say it better than them, you know, it's out there. So I curated the content for the course with podcasts, journal prompts, videos, mantras, like a theme song every week was a different theme. I'm brave. I'm kind I'm forgiving, like all these different things. So yeah, I created that because of my friend, and then I launched the podcast and then I launched retreats and it just kind of [00:16:00] like unfolded from there. I'm so grateful for her. I tell her all the time, like, I'm really grateful that you couldn't love yourself, because it has helped hundreds of people now. It was so sad. But at the same time, I'm so grateful and glad that it happened that way to kind of jolt me into seeing it and being like, oh my gosh. What do you mean

[00:16:18] Shannon Russell: you saw a need out there maybe it starts with inside, before you go outside. Right? So, so that's great. So you're sitting here thinking there's a need. And where did you come up with the idea of Unselfishly Me and actually deciding, I'm gonna make this into a second business.

[00:16:36] Jane Kilian: I sent her just before I went into my yoga class. I always went on a Tuesday and I don't know if anyone knows about kinesiology, I always went to someone for kinesiology. Balances and that kind of stuff. And I luckily had an appointment book for the Friday. All I could think about was writing down ideas, writing down names, and coming up with things. And Unselfishly Me, the name was not even on the list, let me tell you. We're doing our session and we are chatting about it, and [00:17:00] you can test things so they balance you and find out what's going on with your body, but they also test things so you can give her questions and a test and she's basically using your own body to give you answers. It's fascinating. So she tested for this brand and it was like 90% Yes. Or 96%. And then the name, we were like, I was like, I don't know about this name and this name. She's very intuitive as well. She's like, I feel like the name is in a book that's out there in reception. Let me go and get it. She walked out the room into get all these little books so we're like going through the book. And then she said, it's like I would love to come train with you, but I feel like I'm taking money away from my family and I also feel guilty about the time and everything and it's like, it feels like I'm being selfish and something clicked in my head. Obviously it was like divinely guarded from above or something. I just blurted out Unselfishly Me and we like looked at each other and we were like, yes. And then she tested and was like 98%. Yes. So we were like sold and that's how it started. This is the name, let's go. And then the.com [00:18:00] was available. The Instagram was available, like everything was available. It was unbelievable how it was just so aligned.

So yeah,

[00:18:07] Shannon Russell: to be.

[00:18:08] Jane Kilian: yeah.

[00:18:10] Shannon Russell: Do you find yourself happier now that you're, focused on Unselfishly Me in this world and moving into the yoga than you were personal training?

[00:18:19] Jane Kilian: Yeah, I feel like I have a greater sense of purpose. I feel more content within myself, but within the work that I'm doing and how I'm changing people's lives, my tagline is self-love made simple. Because I think no one knows where to start. How do I journal? What do I do? How do I manifest Manifesting boundaries, negative self-talk, all of these topics that. No one knows where to start. So I like to say that I'm really good at breaking down complicated topics and making it bath sized and understandable for everyone. So I make self-love simple, like how to start, where to do it, how to do it, and how to actually love yourself more from going through these different topics. It really [00:19:00] has been a labor of love and I just feel more, I feel more myself as well. I love personal training and I'm always open to it. But now with the yoga, I'm just love, love, love doing the yoga and seeing people that have never stepped on a mat come to my house here, and they come. They're like, oh, I dunno, I'm really bad. I don't know if I'm gonna be any good. And I'm like, I'm literally gonna teach you how to stand on a mat. You're gonna start from scratch. Like, I'm literally gonna teach you how to do Mountain post, which is standing on your mat. So watching them go from being so nervous and so scared, they're kind of saying that they can't do something before they even try. But watching their eyes light up with accomplishment when they do a pose and they've learned to pose is just my actual ultimate. It's just way more fulfilling than seeing someone's squat or talk to them while they're doing lenses and things like that. It's a completely different feeling and I. For me, personal training is obviously has its place and I will always love it and be grateful, and I'll always be open to doing it again. But the yoga for me is something [00:20:00] where it's completely different. There's no competition. You are doing it for yourself, it gives you a greater sense of connection with your mind and your body.

[00:20:08] Shannon Russell: And it's that mind, body connection that probably changes everything for the better. 

[00:20:12] Jane Kilian: And that's the problem with not loving yourself is that you are literally, you in your head. You're not in your heart and in your body, and that's why you, you aren't loving your body because you are disconnected from it. You have that disconnection between head and heart and head and body where you are not actually asking yourself how you. we all intuitive. If you were connected in your body and you were connected to yourself and you asked yourself what was wrong? Why am I feeling like this? Why is my back sore? Your body and your heart would be telling you. But I feel like we are so disconnected. , it's not the right thing to go do personal training and to do gym work because it's just gonna feed the ego more, you know? Whereas we need to actually go within. I think that yoga is very powerful. I think that people don't realize how important it is, and I think that it's not accessible for [00:21:00] everyone because you feel intimidated going to class so, knowing that you can start from scratch and you have a safe place and you can do it in your lounge and you can learn and you can grow from, then grow the confidence, I think that. everyone needs to do some form of yoga because it literally gets you out of your head and into your body, and that's what we all need.

[00:21:19] Shannon Russell: That's fantastic. And so you have courses and workshops available on the website, and you also have your podcast. Let's talk about your podcast 

[00:21:27] Jane Kilian: it's basically about self-love, self-care, and like self, everything. So I've got a whole bunch of different guests, yourself included, and I generally ask, the first part of the questions I ask everyone, whether it's one of my GA friends, whether it is you, whether it is someone talking about kinesiology or an astrology, whoever, always ask the same questions, which is like, what does self love mean to you? And share your journey. You dunno who's listening and something you say about your journey might resonate for someone else. And then I'll just ask more questions pertaining to your job, what you do, who you. there's so [00:22:00] many different interviews on there. I've got some meditations. I have my birth story from when I had my daughter, all these kind of things, like, I like to bring everything into it, but I mean, I've got gar friends that are interviewed on there. I've got an episode which is actually really, really powerful. It's three friends of. One was fat shamed, one was fit, shamed, and one was skinny shamed. So it's three different aspects and three different ways of looking at it, which I think we all need to hear because we've all made comments about someone being too skinny. We've all made comments about someone. Oh, but she's just gone to the gym and now she's drinking a milkshake and then there's someone like my friend who's a bikini competitor and you're just like, oh, she leaves her kids to go and you know, weight train all the time. There's all these aspects that we don't think about until it is brought to your attention. There's some shorter ones. I like to call them Powcasts cuz they pack a little bit of a pow and they're like 10 to 15 minutes where it's boundaries, negative self talk, all those kind of my workshop topics. Just little, [00:23:00] little snippets of that as well. 

[00:23:02] Shannon Russell: I feel like your show just has a lot of power to it. You can tune in, listen to a little episode and just feel better about your day. It's just so lovely to have you here and share all the good you're putting out into the world with your show as well. 

[00:23:17] Jane Kilian: So I've got, My podcast that I run and do all these different topics and then I've got the workshops and also have membership that I started called a Self Love Club, a monthly one. So I have little snippets from that cuz on the tier two we have different guests that come on, like guest experts. On the podcast also, I'll put like a little five minute. Snippet from that just to, share them and to share their wisdom as well. So yeah, I love podcasting and now interviewing all of you and getting to connect with all of the Americans and Canadians out there. It's been incredible. It's been so, so nice.

[00:23:50] Shannon Russell: I agree, and I feel like when we talked, we just became fast friends. Even though you're in South Africa and I'm in the States and it's just, it's so nice to realize you have so many things in common with people [00:24:00] around the. And I feel like that's what you're bringing to your, listeners and to your clients is just loving yourself no matter what part of your life you're in. Just making that everyone's focus, cuz that really should be your focus no matter what your career, no matter what your life situation is. Really just looking inwards to make your life happier, to make your life. More full at the end of the day. It's those little tools that you share that I think we all in this busy, fast paced world need to be reminded of. You're just putting so much good into the world, Jane. I love it.

[00:24:35] Jane Kilian: Thanks and thanks to you for also sharing everyone's second act. I think what you do also gives people, it gives them permission to love themselves when they are going into a new era and they life where they might be really scared and really nervous, but hearing everyone's stories on your podcast, also, it like gives people hope that there is another chance to recreate a life that they actually really want and they really need.

[00:24:58] Shannon Russell: Thank you. Yeah, I think just [00:25:00] podcasting in general, we can reach so many people and hope that at least one story kind of resonates with someone who is listening. And with self love as being a newish kind of mom with a now three year old, how has self-love changed for you now being a mom and balancing all your money businesses and things that you're running at the same time?

[00:25:20] Jane Kilian: Yeah, it's been a challenge, . I think that it was that rude awakening. I think no one can prepare you for that. And everyone's journey is so different and everyone has different jobs. Most of my friends had corporate jobs, so they couldn't actually prepare me for it because, I was in hospital, I had a C-section. I was working on my phone before, I was working on my phone after, and then I was doing in-person events again. After three weeks it was, yeah, it was insane, I think at the beginning I struggled, but, uh, made sure that I got on the treadmill that for me, I put like Netflix on my iPad and I got on the treadmill and I was doing like 20 minutes, um, a day. I also put her in a little carrier and she loved it, so she would actually go to sleep as a baby like that. So I was [00:26:00] like, oh, she's crabby. I'm putting in the carrier while I'm walking. She can bounce around and go to sleep and.

[00:26:05] Shannon Russell: good workout partner. She's a good , right?

[00:26:08] Jane Kilian: she really was. Even now, now she likes to go into my studio and actually play with everything. So I get to also now go and walk on the treadmill or do whatever. And she loves yoga and she calls it Yoyo. She's like, can we do yoyo? I'm like, yes, let's do some. So maybe I don't get a full class in, but I get a 10 minute like kind of work out. I also go through Depth Square, I forget, and I just work, work, work where I started putting myself first again and drop her at play school. She goes three days a week. So, got on my treadmill, did the 10 minutes, did some journaling, pick some cards did a meditation. And then I started working. And you know what? I still got everything that was on my list for yesterday done. And I put myself. Otherwise you do the work and then you try and find the time. It doesn't work like that when you put yourself first and you actually do the stuff for you first. It's almost like time bends and it expands and you still get the [00:27:00] same amount done. So it was such a good reminder to me cause I preach it all the time, that a time will expand. I just need to put myself first and do what I wanna do first. And I felt so good the whole day because I had all this energy from doing that. For me, it's, it's really creating, I like toal them pockets of peace throughout the day. So even if I came up here to my office I do angel card readings as well. I'm a little bit mainstream and a little bit woow.

It's like kind of like a mix. Um, and then I kind of stayed up here for extra 10 minutes, so that was my little pocket of peace. No one knows that I'm meant to be back in the house, or they don't know that I'm finished. So I'm like, no, I'm still working. 

[00:27:38] Shannon Russell: That all the time. Don't tell anybody. Yeah.

[00:27:41] Jane Kilian: Also what I've started doing everyone needs to do this, especially if you're a mom every two or three months. I go away on a self retreat just one night. So I'll leave early in the morning, say the Saturday or the Sunday go early in the morning, I drive to the Midlands, which is an hour and a half away from us. It's like very leafy green forest that kind of set the [00:28:00] countryside. There's a coffee shop, so you go stop there and then you go and then there's like a little shop and you go try on things or there's lunch you kind of meander around and go to different places. And I book myself in somewhere and I go and I have a massage get a takeaway for dinner, and then I eat my dinner in bed with Netflix and I binge it and I just chill and asleep. And then I come back the next day and I'm just so rested. So every two or three months I do like a, a solo retreat night for myself. And I really find that it just like replenishes me and gives me more patience. I can come back to. I think that's the problem when you are, even if you don't have a child, but you're married or you are in a partnership or you have a relationship, so often you're not just you, you, you and someone, and then you have kids and you, you and someone, and someone, it's like you're not you and you never really get a chance to just be you. So by taking yourself off for one night doesn't have to be expensive. It can be budget accommodation. It doesn't have to be an hour and a half away. It can be literally. 10 minute drive away.[00:29:00] Allowing yourself that time to come back to yourself to remember who you are, to journal, to relax, and it's only when you actually get quiet and peaceful that you can ask yourself how you're doing and check in with yourself. and you can't have that at home and you can't have that around someone else. There's just too much clutter and there's too much chatter all the time. So you really have to take yourself out of your home, out of your situation and really just sit and breathe and listen to the birds outside and be quiet and then come back to yourself. It's nice to be a me again, you know? Cuz you're always a we. Even if you're single and you'd work, you're still a week cuz you're in a team around people. You're never me. So you really have to take yourself away and just be me for a day and a half.

[00:29:44] Shannon Russell: Wow, it's so brilliant cuz we're never a me anymore. It's very few and far between. When you and I hang up, we're gonna go outside of this room, both of our rooms in separate countries and the kids are gonna be waiting for us and work is gonna be waiting for us. That's just how it is. I know we talked [00:30:00] about that when I was a guest on your podcast and it just kind of blew my mind open. This is something that I have to make part of my life, and it's not selfish. It's unselfishly me, like you said, it's, it's taking that time to just not think about all the things and, and all the people that are grabbing at us. It's such great advice and such self care,

[00:30:20] Jane Kilian: If you do have a partner and you have kids together, they'll be okay. Like they will survive. And it's, it's, it's not asking, it's telling, I'm going away with myself, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And my friend actually started talking to a husband about it it opened a dialogue for them and they started chatting. So they decided, They would alternate and let each other go away for an art. I'm sorry to stereotype, but men generally go away on boys weekends and golf weekends and, and, and more often than moms do or women. It's really nice to give each other that space and that time. So they tend to go away with their friends as well. So this is really nice for them to go away by themselves. I think when we take care of ourselves and put ourselves first and [00:31:00] set that boundary, it also gives men permission to love themselves more too, because it's something they don't talk about, they don't practice, and it's something that they need as well, because a lot of them have issues from growing up and maybe not receiving that for themselves. We teach bar, showing what we are doing, you know, by example for your children and for partners and friends and family. And when you are happy within yourself and giving yourself this time and this patience and this love, it radiates out of you. Something looks different where people will say to you, oh, have you changed your hair? Have you, are you doing makeup? Like, what is the difference in you? And you're like, uh, no. And no. It's just because I'm obviously shining now, which I wasn't before. So, yeah.

[00:31:40] Shannon Russell: Fantastic. 



[00:31:42] Shannon: Alright. It's time for our Five Fast Qs of the Week. Here we go! 

[00:31:47] Shannon Russell: Name one thing that these different chapters in your life have taught you.

[00:31:52] Jane Kilian: be true to myself and that not everyone will like you, but they don't need to as long as you like yourself.

[00:31:58] Shannon Russell: Mm. Would you [00:32:00] recommend taking a leap into a big life change to your best friend?

[00:32:04] Jane Kilian: Yes. I have many times told her to , I'm like, just do it. You'll figure it out. The universe will protect you. And I also believe in like negative energy when you clear negative energies or situations, like if you hate your job. soon as you leave it, something else comes along. As soon as you decide to leave the corporate and to work for yourself, you will get the clients because you're cutting off that dead weight that is actually no longer serving you. And it's just such negative energy that it's clouding your judgment for one thing, and it's not giving you the ability to thrive. But as soon as you open it up and you get rid of that negativity, positivity just comes flood.

[00:32:39] Shannon Russell: Brilliant. What is one piece of advice that you would give to someone who is starting their second act today?

[00:32:46] Jane Kilian: Okay, so you have to back yourself all the time. And this is where that, that head and heart connection comes in. If you're not in your body and you're only in your head, you're gonna second guess everything. So when you're in your body and you're connected with your body and you learn to trust your gut and to [00:33:00] trust what your body is telling you, then you'll be able to make decisions, much more easily, and you won't be second guessing yourself. So always back yourself, trust yourself and lead with an open.

[00:33:12] Shannon Russell: What does the next chapter look like for you?

[00:33:15] Jane Kilian: Oh, good question. We are actually going to be moving to Portugal so, I feel confident that it's gonna be really good for me and I'm actually gonna be more successful outside of South Africa, to be honest. You know, when you stay somewhere for so long and the energy just starts feeling like stifled and yeah, I feel like people will miss me even though half of them are my followers and people I haven't met. Everything's gonna be more online. I'll be doing retreats in Portugal and Bali and all the overseas places. So I do think it's gonna be mostly Unselfishly Me because the yoga and everything, I kind of do under that brand as well, cuz I bring the self love in. It's gonna be very busy because I'm gonna be trying to settle into a new country finding my feet. But I do think there's gonna be lots of travel, [00:34:00] lots of opportunities. We are gonna meet in, where are we meeting Hawaii, what did we say? 2025

[00:34:05] Shannon Russell: Hawaii for sure. Or I'll come to Portugal.

[00:34:08] Jane Kilian: Yeah. We'll do a retreat together. So yeah, I am a bit nervous, obviously big move. But I also feel really confident in the direction that I'm going, like it feels right for me. Obviously I'll document it as I'm going and be very, as always, be very authentic about what's happening in my life and how I'm feeling. It is going to be a very big positive and a lot of growth, which I think is important.

[00:34:32] Shannon Russell: And really, how cool is it that you can take this brand, this business that you've built and you can go elsewhere? I mean, that's amazing. You're not beholden to South Africa like you're gonna go and your business is gonna stay, if not grow even more.

[00:34:47] Jane Kilian: Yeah, I've got a lot of physical products that I make. Like I've got a gar journal and affirmation cards and kids cards and kids book and things. So I'm gonna do them there and then I can ship them in Europe. And maybe they'll come to America [00:35:00] too. I'll still run my online shop here in South Africa and the products, because I have the relationship with all the printers, and then I'm gonna partner with a friend and then she'll package the orders at night and query them out and stuff. So I feel like I'll still be here, you know, in some ways, but I'll be able to expand and grow in other countries in other ways, because I'll have the physical products as.

[00:35:21] Shannon Russell: So excited for you. So where can our audience connect with you?

[00:35:25] Jane Kilian: my Instagram is @unselfishlyme and my Facebook is the same website is also unselfishlyme.com. So I've got everything on there and I'm launching a corporate mindfulness online program, which is very exciting. That can be done anywhere in the world, which is amazing. It's gonna include, a 30 minute beginner yoga class, which anyone can do guided meditation and journaling. So they can listen to it once a month. They can listen to it every day if they want. They can do the class every day if they want. So if you have like 20 employees that you wanna do, you can, if there's a hundred you can do, and obviously it'll be in a sliding scale and then my podcast is Unselfishly Me as well. I've just [00:36:00] created or reignited a Facebook group that I had for years and kind of neglected over the last few years. So that is Self Love Made Simple. So if you go to Facebook and search the groups, it's Self Love Made Simple. If you wanna hop in there and get some tips and tricks.

Oh, Jane, this was so fantastic. 

Uh, Jane, this was so fantastic. I've just loved having you here, sharing your tips, spreading self-love to all of us, I am so excited for your big move and for you to spread Unselfishly Me through other countries and just continue to take over the world with self-love and self-care. 

[00:36:46] Jane Kilian: Oh, thank you for having me. I was super excited. I was like in my diary and I was like, I'm so excited I get to go talk to my friend.

I 

[00:36:53] Shannon Russell: know. Oh, I can't wait to actually meet in person one of these days. We will

[00:36:57] Jane Kilian: Yeah.

[00:36:58] Shannon Russell: Thank you. 

That was [00:37:00] so much fun. I feel like Jane has a true through line. I like to talk about the through lines, the thread that connects our different careers in our different chapters in our life together. And with Jane, it's easy to see, right. She went from personal training, training, your exterior, your physical appearance and your physical health. 

To transforming. The inside the self love, the self care, the self wellness that we often neglect. It was interesting to me that she really spoke about how. You can't lose weight or get yourself healthy and fit on the outside. Unless you're healthy and fit on the inside and how they really do work together. The whole head mind, body connection is so strong and. I definitely took away a lot of great tips from Jane. Both on her career journey and what she's learned. And just in the world of self-love. I hope you were inspired to take care of [00:38:00] yourself a little bit better and to. Focus on your internal work. As you focus on the world around you. 

If You'd like more information about how to connect with Jane, go to unselfishlyme.com. If you have a topic that you'd like us to discuss here on the podcast, please visit my speak pipe. At speakpipe.com/secondactsuccess. It's there that you can leave me a voice message, asking a question, leaving a comment, leaving a real life experience that you've had in changing your career or a topic that you'd like to hear in an upcoming episode, just leave me that voice message. And I will take it to heart because. 

This podcast is all about you helping you transform your career and your life to become a true success in whatever that means to you. Thanks for listening. 

[00:38:50] Shannon: Thank you for joining us. I hope you found some gems of inspiration and some takeaways to help you on your path to Second Act Success. To view show notes from [00:39:00] this episode, visit secondactsuccess.co. Before you go, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast. So you don't miss a single episode. Reviews only take a few moments and they really do mean so much. Thank you again for listening. I am Shannon Russell, and this is Second Act Success.